LUNCH LETTERS

Please e-mail Mr. Lunch

he has a whole office of birds standing by.

* BACK TO MR. LUNCH *


Dear Mr. Lunch,

I am two years old and I love your books. I especially liked when you played the cello. You are a very talented dog.

I was happy to see a scientific super cake at my aunt's wedding. How can I make one at home? Could you divulge the formula?

Thank you.
Isaac Lees


A LETTER IS SENT BACK FROM
THE BIRD-CHASING OFFICE


Dear Mr. Lees,

Your Aunt must have had a super wedding.
A blast.

As everyone knows the surest way to a groom's heart is with a good multi-flavored cake. Apparently the sweetness permeates the heart.

As you've probably guessed, we can't give out the cake receipe--it's too dangerous,

Mr. Lunch


* * * BACK TO MR. LUNCH * * *


Hello,

My name is Zach and I am 3 years old. What is your favorite bird? Is it Ambrose?


A LETTER IS SENT BACK FROM
THE BIRD-CHASING OFFICE


Hello Zach Miller,

We are happy you have taken the time to send a note over the wires. It arrived at break time. Some of the birds were chatting up on the telephone wire. A good message always makes their beaks go twitter.

Now they also want to know if I have a favorite bird...
Hmmmm....

Ambrose is a fine, brave bird.
And dedicated too.

Falcon, the homing pigeon, is very kind about pointing out where the bird-chasing office is when we're lost.

Hummingbirds are almost like bugs. Or electronics that need to be plugged in.

There's a duck named Gunhild who risked her neck to help get me out of jail once.

I have great respect for the sleepy Judge Owl...
I don't think I could possibly pick a favorite bird. They're all so different, and besides I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of the big Hawk that lives in the woods. That would be dangerous.

Sorry,
Mr. Lunch


Dear Mr. Lunch:

I just read your book MR. LUNCH TAKES A PLANE RIDE.

My school assignment is to read a book and write a letter to the author. I hope you can respond so that I may show my teacher.

After chasing birds all day, how long do you sleep? I also want to know, how old are you in dog years?

Have you ever been in a movie?

The part when Mr. Lunch is going and says good-bye to the food, the mirror and the radio is my favorite.


A LETTER IS SENT BACK FROM
THE BIRD-CHASING OFFICE


Dear Perry Hill,

Mr. Lunch finds it interesting that practically the first thing you ask him about is his nap schedule. Interesting that this is what pops into your head when you get the opportunity to write to one of the world's most professional bird-chasers. Do you think you're dealing with a big sleeper?
Yes, it's true, good rest is a key to good bird-chasing...plenty of rest...lots after lunch, and then a bit more later in the afternoon, a wee bit before lunch and then most of the night.

Mr. Lunch has never been to a movie, but he recommends them to you. He hears they are excellent.

Mr. Lunch has a hard time keeping track of when one dog year ends and a new one begins. Certainly he and his vet have tried to chart out the years...but Mr. Lunch has lost track.

And finally, "the part when Mr. Lunch is going and says good-bye to the food, the mirror and the radio," he's doing that to you, right now.

Okay Perry, assignment completed, you can take your nap now,
good bye

signed,
Mr. Lunch's coach and typist,
Quincy (with advice from Ambrose, the red bird)


* * * A nice note was sent to Mr. Lunch by twins, Charlotte and Owen (and their Dad). Somehow their letter was changed into garbled computer nonsense but the following response remained:


A LETTER IS SENT BACK FROM
THE BIRD-CHASING OFFICE


Hey you space twins and parents.

Bad elephant here.....that silly dog left his bird-chasing office unlocked. Don't tell anyone I was here....I am supposed to be in the pokey. Anyway.....can I sell you some nice previously-owned bird seed?

Oh oops....here comes some birds.......gotta go!!!!!

sinisterly yours,
Count von Papalippa Pacharoni, III,
esq. xyz. inc.


* * * BACK TO MR. LUNCH * * *


Dear Mr. Lunch,

I really like your website and I was wondering if you have a job other than chasing birds.


A LETTER IS SENT BACK FROM
THE BIRD-CHASING OFFICE


Why,
chasing birds is my one true profession, but I do have some sound hobbies. I have taken up the art of bird calling. I hope to be fluent in a number of different bird languages by Spring. My favorite, and best bird call, is the popular Whooping Crane.

Happy to hear from you,
Mr. Lunch


* * * BACK TO MR. LUNCH * * *


Dear Mr. Lunch,

I like your pictures very much. I wish I was Mr. Lunch so I could have all the fun adventures you have. I want to be a professional bird chaser too someday. Just how does one become a professional bird chaser? Can you recommend any good schools?

Can't wait to read your new book Free Lunch.

Sincerely, Jasper and Bud Peen


A LETTER IS SENT BACK FROM
THE BIRD-CHASING OFFICE


Jasper and Mr. Bud,

Maybe you would enjoy the French Academie de Oiseau avec le Chase. It is fiercely intense and should prepare you for a rich full life focused on The Chase.

Mr. Lunch did not attend this academy. No chien allowed. He is strictly untrained.

Good luck with your studies.

Always a pleasure to hear from you...
Quincy, Mr. Lunch's time keeper



NOTICE: Your letter to
Mr. Lunch may be reprinted here or elsewhere


* BACK TO MR LUNCH *


OTHER PLACES OF INTEREST:
* * * Space Monkey * * *
* * * * Mr. Lunch * * * *
* * * Olive * * *
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