It would be impossible
for you to guess my name.
I challenge you.
I once ruled a Birdseed Conglomerate.
I have prepared these pictures of me especially for you.
I look very handsome and I think you should frame them. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have my portrait over your fireplace and in your room? If I was ever to take over someone's company (and I would be in charge) you would know it because this picture of me would be everywhere, including on your mantle (by mandate!) Thank you very much,
signed the Bad Elephant.